当 心无理取闹的时候

我常说 我并不好
不是无理的。
有些时候我会犯错
有些时候我会执着
有些时候不顾无理
但这些都不算什么
因为大家都看见的
大家都没说我好坏。

我说我不好
也许是因为自己心里
有时候会静静地无理取闹
然后 我后悔
后悔自己为什么这样
虽然都没让人看见
内疚反而更深

因为我们约定好的
要好好守护彼此许下的承诺
我心里曾无意地差点违背承诺
我对你忽然的抱歉
其实是在平复自己的罪恶感
虽然我没告诉你为什么说对不起
因为连我自己都不清不楚这罪恶感
是否真的是自己犯错 或纯粹想太多

但也因为如此
我感觉到了你那强大的付出
我感受到你无怨无悔的给予
我感觉到了你的爱与真诚
多温暖 多么有力量

而我也很努力 很努力地在加油
希望能够像你一样强大地付出
让你也感受到我从你身上得到的幸福
因为我知道
不会再有像你那样的人
在我生命里出现
因为我知道
一切多么难得可贵
无理放手决不允许
因为我知道
深藏在我心底的 依旧是爱你的心
就像你对我那样

潜意识不管在我心理如此无理取闹的情况下
依然告诉我 不用再闹了 都不会变的
因为你对我的好如此美丽
我没办法 也没理由放弃 :)

Doubts come and go, from time to time.
Trying not to have doubts but I can't do it.
But whatever doubts I have, whatever challenges I face,
faith is still there, heart is still there,
which lead me to the right way,
back to you,
back to love.

Thanks for everything you've given,
to this dumb bad girl. :)

我只不过想要个拥抱

害怕失去
就是我最大的毛病

想好多好多
只不过是不想失去
然后伤痕累累

一旦决定后
我答应不管多难
都会以全心全力
克服一切困难
相信你 体谅你
守护我们的珍贵

也因为如此
我害怕拖累你
害怕伤害了你
害怕为难了你

伤心 收起来
因为不想让你担心难过
想念 收起来
因为不想让你分心正事
寂寞 收起来
因为不想让你内疚担忧

收太久 都成泪了
但却忍着不流出来
因为答应了要坚强
不想在当谁都负担

原来 人会变
都因为四周环境
周围的人
尤其
那些很重要的人

我曾经容易掉泪
但现在我无法掉泪

想太多 就是我
我的毛病
也是让我成为我的理由



其实我最想要的
只不过是个拥抱
让我歇一歇
摘下假面具
让心休息
一会就好…

想哭 却哭不出来的能力
是练出来的

嗨 好吗？

嗨~
太久没和自己聊天了

一年就这样过了，
我早就习惯了这种生活
会有多少年的机会和朋友生活在一起
家人在远远的家
独立自主的生活着
每一天烦恼着琐琐碎碎的抉择
待会该吃什么成了每一天最难的决定

从没想过会在这种乏味的生活里
找到了一群疯在一起的怪朋友
遇到了一直寻找的那一个人
成长了多少，改变了多少
慢慢找到了不一样的勇敢
就算流泪也变得无声了
怕黑也依然壮胆地说没什么

怎样啊？
这种生活还应付得来吧？
也幸运有身边的朋友们支持与鼓励
有他的安慰及力量
还算生活不错吧？
或该说其实很幸运了
有多少人会幸运地遇上对的人
有多少时间能让我们碰小钉子却学会很多？

对了
还有你
想了想，我的当时的道别
当时的你还没真的准备好接受吧？
时间过得真快
不知不觉就快半年了
还记得那天的道别后，默默流下的泪
忍哭真的很辛苦
但现在想想，我大胆地做了对的选择
在那之前，我还真是太胆小了
拖拖拉拉太久，真不应该
早就知道不会有结果，早就该歇斯底里地结束了

现在的你过得更好了吧？
我过得很好，而且还比以前更特别了
因为我在大胆的放下后
获得了很美丽的礼物
也因为这样，我理解了真心对待其实真的一点都不累
当两个人能够互相扶持，愿意一起奋斗的时候
累不会出现，美好却在路途中不停浮现
每一天身边的小事物也可以变得很快乐
真的，我快乐好多了
我笑得更多了，而且从心的笑了

每次呆呆地看着他，我就会不自主地微笑
内心感觉非常感谢
感谢他看见了我
感谢他不要脸地靠近我
感谢天给我机会慢慢感受
感谢天让我一点一点地爱上他
感谢我们彼此的坚持
感谢我们彼此的坦诚
感谢我们彼此的真心
感谢每一天都有机会手牵着手
感谢我们能够心连心
感谢我们的相遇
让彼此的生活多快乐多一点

如果被允许
我们谁都不想放手
因为当对的感觉出现了
我们就不应该放走
紧握、真心、慢慢耕耘
赐给我们的礼物

你也要过得快乐，知道吗？

也感谢你，让我理解更多
让我成长了，才会遇上现在的美好

而我呢，
一定要加油
珍惜现在拥有的一切
努力努力！
因为生活中不会有那么多机会
让我们得到特别的礼物.. :)

I wonder..

I wonder how you feel
I wonder how you fell
I wonder what do you think
I wonder what did you see
I wonder why you love me
I wonder why you stay with me
I wonder why, I wonder how
I wonder if all these will be forever...

I am so glad to have you
I am so scared to lose you
I wonder how you love me
I wonder if you would always do so
I wonder how if you don't anymore
I wonder how my life will be
how terrible my live will be
how my heart would stand the cuts and wounds

I am scared
until now, I am still scared
because I had let you entered my deepest core
and you had became part of my life
one of the reason why I wake up everyday for
one of the reason why I am living my life for a reason

Could things just continue the way it is now?
Or maybe be much better than now,
as long as with you by my side

I appreciate your love and your care
No one ever treat me that way just like my family
No one ever made me so comfortable
to be who I am
to act crazy and natural
no secret no shame
I am proud to be a person who belongs to you
I am grateful to have you beside me everytime
I am blessed to have you in my heart every single time

No words could describe the feeling,
or maybe is just purely "love"

So could you just keep holding my hands tight,
hug me and give me strength when I'm weak,
and let me brush you hair and smile like a kid everyday?

Cause the love from my heart couldn't hide itself
and I want to keep feeling the love from you too... :)

Thoughts

And I realised,
there is still a long way to go
dreams and hopes
imaginations and visualization
where future will come in years time
and how it will be

I know it wont be like how I wish
sad to realise things might not be the way I want
and I'm trying to be optimistic
that as long as the heart is still there
what that meant for all is the sincerity
and the truthful love
from the heart
with the soul

And I realised,
all I need is just a trust
and a firm hug
tell me that everything will be fine
and things will be alright
just the way it suppose to be
like the way I hope it will be

Never expect too much
because disappointment will kill me more than everything
as time goes on
things fade
those which stays
will go on forever
believe with the courage
everything will be fine

Life goes on
with our hands holding
and that one glance of trust
nothing will stop us from moving on
I believe..

Cry out your sorrow
and wipe away the pain in your tears
as those negatives went away
you will see the lights again
and he'll still be there
with his truthful heart
and his warmest heart

As your heart stays alive
nothing could beat you down
Girl..
You know you wont be beaten down..

The path

When things come unexpectedly
Without any sign of warning
where you had never imagine it happening
and there it goes
following the flow
day by day

I've being taught to be cautious
never forget to be prepared
never lost yourself in laughter
where things may go wrong one day
where you will fall to the very bottom
and never be able to get up again

I've always make myself ready
with the weapons and the armor
and the toughest heart I can have
facing the unknown future
and the uncertainty that may occur

And I'm here
following the steps I chose
and I'm here
right beside you
with my armor and my sword
with your shield and your sword
stand straight
and go on

Because you gave me the courage
to be the strong girl that I am
the warrior that was hidden in my heart
Even facing the most unpredictable life
I am still able to fight
without the worry of falling or hurt
I've never felt this way before
Cautious, but calm.
because I know
you are right here

Everything happens for a reason.

Even it hurts, it will be a lesson.
Even it's hard, it will be worth it.

The moment I made my choice
there is no turning back
I had chose the path
and keep on moving forward
search for the smallest beauty of life
and embrace them with my biggest heart

Life could be pretty
if you treat them beautifully.

与你

越来越靠近
越来越亲近

希望时间快过
又想慢慢感受的这些时光的矛盾

偶尔的害怕顾虑
有他的安慰与支持

偶尔他的低潮失落
有我的鼓励与陪伴

朋友般的分享
家人般的关心
和特别的心里位置

我们在最预料不到的时间相遇
我们在最预想不到的时候相识
我们在最意识不到的情况开始
接触 接近
奇妙的舒适
瞬间的默契
心与心的联系


遇见你
我找到了内心的自己
从未如此自然快乐
我毫无掩饰
曾今的种种顾虑恐惧
即使依然存在
却都成了动力
和激发勇气的原因

准备好面对未来
好与坏
因为有你的肯定与陪伴
我不害怕
我勇敢